Star Wars: A Spoof Awakens

The Boss and I watched Star Wars VII: The Force Awakens on Tuesday morning, while the minxes were in school.

Photo: from

The night before, we’d watched all the Bad Lip Reading spoofs on YouTube. So as the film rose to its climax, tension built, regardless of whether you thought the film was brilliant or not. The lady in the seat next to me, who kept hiding her face at every space monster, gripped our armrest in anticipation. Seeing Admiral Ackbar brought out the minx in me. I leaned over to The Boss’s ear and made a ‘puck-puck-puck’ kissing sound from the Bad Lipreading Return of the Jedi spoof. He started giggling. Which made me snigger, too. The more his shoulders shook, the more I laughed. The more Admiral Ackbar’s big fishy face came on the screen, 10 foot high, the more hysterical we both got. I couldn’t see; The Boss’s glasses misted over; I started to consider my pelvic floor muscle tone; The Boss made strangled noises. The lady next to me looked at us in puzzlement and edged a little further away.

Ah, I think you just had to be there…

I don’t use Twitter much (I’ve only just got to grips with posting quick photos on the Grumpy Old Trout Facebook page), but there’s a fair few enterprising comedians who’re posting as Emo Kylo Ren. The wittiest by far is KyloR3n – Emo Kylo Ren. His (her?) tweets are going to provide hours of electronic entertainment for me this Christmas. I, too, am going to find a Vader breathing sound to set as my text message alert.

The Things Kids Say No. 3971


Midi Minx stared at me solemnly at dinner.

“Mummy, I know how Jesus died”, she said, head downcast, eyes like deep pools.

“Oh?” I said warily. I’ve been trapped in conversations like this with my minxes a fair few times before.

She stretched her arms out in a crucifix. “He was pinned to a signpost”.

I’m still dying here. Can barely type through tears…

The Shortest, Biggest Minx

Have you ever wondered if you’re a bad influence to your kids?  I don’t wonder; I know I am.  I have proof…

I know that I can be a bit attached to my laptop: I run my little business from it; I talk to my friends and family by email and Skype from it; I write my patterns and build photo albums on it; I blog and even sometimes actually write-write from it.  Poor Mini sometimes feels a bit neglected, even though she’s right beside or behind me.  We have an old PC on the table to the right of this one.  My youngest minx has learned that misbehaving generally means I’ll ignore her, but if she can make me laugh, well, she’s got my undivided attention for, ooooooh, 3 minutes at least!  So she’s taken to sneaking up to the old PC and bashing

Shhhh – I workin’, Mummy!

industriously on the keyboard.  When I ask her what she’s doing she says:”Shhhhhh! I workin’!”

If I bug her some more, she glares at me and hisses: “Shhh, Mummy! I p’tendin’ do workin’!” (I’m pretending to work)

Aye – she’s got my number, alright…

I watchin’ TV (and engaging my transverse abdominus. Ish)

Me, I like a hard chair.  I don’t like squashy sofas and prefer something more wooden stool-like.  But Mini’s preference for no seat at all has nothing to do with me.

I bonkers

Her latest speech upgrade has included some really useful phrases.  Well, they must be, because she now uses them all the time when she’s not biting us (that’s another story…), especially if she feels she’s not getting an equal share of the “hotcorns” (popcorn) The Boss has made the family:

“That’s not fair!”

“Daddy smelly!”

“Not like Mummy”

“My turn!”

When she’s not making me laugh, she likes to stand on her head.  Midi liked to spend as much time as she could on her head at this age.  I’m guessing it’s got something to do with newly-emerging back molars (bottom right is through, bottom left is just cutting).  I’ve no real idea why, though; I’m not bonkers.


Well, it’s all in the title.  Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Yesterday I completely forgot to tell you about my beautiful, ultra-feminine, Mini Minx baby R’s new trick: she likes to fart.  A few days ago I caught her rocking back and forth, farting loudly with every forward rock, and chortling to herself.  Last night she lay gurgling on her back with her legs in the air.  Every so often she parted her legs, while still keeping them aloft, and emitting a loud ‘parp’.  Each fart was accompanied by gales of laughter.

I hope her sense of humour becomes a little more sophisticated soon.