Non-Stop, Just Non-stop…

Today Maxi Minx was lauded by her headmaster, Mini fell on her head onto concrete and Midi went on a class trip to A&E and seems to have acquired a working stethoscope, a plastic apron and is so covered in stickers that she looks like she fell out a cereal packet.

The sad thing is, it’s just been a standard day, really.

First off, the headmaster collared me at lunchtime. Midi saw him first. “Oh-oh, here comes Mr W!” she hissed to her fellow 3 year olds in warning. I think I’ve described the headmaster already – bit of a character, but as scary as my big toe. “Aye, Midi, and he’s watching you!” I said in The Voice of Doom.

He came up and started chatting to Midi, then asked me how I felt about Maxi being awarded her certificate. I looked appropriately thick and gormless because Maxi had told me all about finding a 1p piece, but nothing about certificates. He explained that the school assessor had been in, and he’d taken her round to see the P1 class doing a phonics lesson. Apparently Maxi had completely collared the woman and certainly shown her everything she knew. Which was rather a lot. But the manner in which she did it, and the politeness she’d shown had impressed the head so much that he’d presented Maxi with a special certificate for her extraordinarily polite manners at School Assembly. I got Maxi to show me where the certificate was being displayed for the week. My wee girl! I must admit, I was bursting with pride and told her so. Sounds like the head was equally proud of my little P1.

Midi’s nursery class were on a visit to the local hospital today. It’s the hospital she and Mini were born at, where she was hospitalised overnight with dehydration 2 weeks before Mini was born (see? I’m still scarred by the experience) and where I feel I should be getting Frequent Flyer points at. It’s only a little hospital, and that continuity is a really big deal to me because I’ve not settled anywhere long enough to have a ‘local’ anything. Till now. Anyway, Midi is going there at the end of the month to get grommets in, adenoids out, and told the staff this. Apparently they made an incredible fuss over her, and got her to try out the weighing and measuring and bp checks, etc, etc. So when I picked her up at 3pm she was covered head to toe in stickers saying how brave she’d been, was wearing a blue plastic apron, and had a real stethoscope round her neck. I worry that Midi being Midi she just ‘acquired’ it because she liked it. So although she said she’d been given it, I’ll check tomorrow. I’ve visions of a shame-faced journey to A&E tomorrow before lunch… Midi now insists that she will be a doctor when she grows up after all, so she can “hurt people to make them better, hehehehehehe!” This is a direct quote from her. I’m afraid for the NHS. Very afraid!

Mini…. Aw, my poor baby Mini! I’d bundled her up today because it’s cold and my wee lamb has shockingly bad circulation (like her Auntie M with Reynauds Syndrome). So she had thick mits on, tights, leggings, big anorak, thick fleecy hat, thick wellies and was bundled in a sling against my down jacket to get a big warm Mummy cuddle and chat on the way to pick up her sisters.

I’m so glad I took the time to turn her into the Michelin Man! We were stood in the playground with Maxi, waiting on Midi’s bus turning up from the hospital. I put Mini on a little bench ready to literally take 2 seconds to click my sling round my waist before holding her against my tummy. At that moment the bus arrived and Maxi made a bee-line straight for the busy main road. I took an extra 3 seconds to bellow, “Maxi! FREEZE!” and in that time Mini toppled over and fell on her head. I expect I must have uttered, “Oh f%c&!” aloud, because all the mums around charged over to see if the screaming Mini was ok (while 2 very astute and kind mums collared Maxi). I was frightened to look, but prized her little arms from my neck. She’d a big egg on her forehead (thank God for the thick fleecy hat!!) and a graze under her little nose and mouth where she’d eaten the concrete. I’d visions of fractured skulls and broken necks, but she’s seemed fine all night and even appeared to instantly forgive me for not watching her properly. Way faster than I’ll forgive myself! What a dumb-ass thing to do! Thank goodness it was only a low bench.

Me, I’m busy organising craft fairs, agreeing to flyer the county and trying not to smack or indeed react to an incredibly abrasive woman. Well, she’s bizarrely only abrasive in a certain crowd; on a one-to-one basis she actually seems very charming and personable. Never mind, I try not to take these personality defects personally :oP